Scared out of my mind with worry! AKA The Attack of Friday the 13th!

I went to my pain doc appt. today. Something I was looking forward to because I have been in a ton of pain. Anyway, he got my paperwork for my LTD (Long Term Disability insurance) and he is going to give the opinion that I can do sedimentary work!
I almost fell of the darn table with that statement.
I told him that I am not worried about my SSDI because I can give work a try and if it doesn't pan out I can go back on it. BUUUUUUT, LTD does not work that way. Once I go back to work, that is it. No more money. He thinks that it is because I have no desire to go back to work or as he put it, I have no incentive to go back to work. I would love to go back to work, but with all my meds and my health problems I feel I would be totally an unreliable employee.
So, right now I am totally scared out of my mind of losing literally half of my income, which we can't afford to loose right now. I called my psych nurse, my internist and my rheumy all of whom send reports to my LTD company as well. I have appointments to talk to my doc and rheumy but I left a message with my psych nurse, which she may not get until Monday or Tuesday depending if she is working on Monday because of the holiday.
I am a mess emotionally. Part of me doesn't even want to go back to my pain doc, but he has been so good to me until now. UGH!! Just one more thing to add to the fire I guess.

The virtues of Lidoderm Patches

This is one of those medications that I feel are under used. Just recently I started the patches. Basically I wear the patch at night anywhere I want for 12 hours and change it the next night depending on where I hurt most. My major question is why wasn't I given this medciation sooner? I have been given anything and everything under the sun from Tylenol #3 to Duragesic Patches and none of them worked for me. How could my doctors skip over something that is so easy to use and is NOT a narcotic????
Ever since I have been going to my Pain Management doc, I have been given medications that my doctors in the past could have given me, but I was given meds that messed me up physically and emotionally instead. Basically, what my pain doc has done is given me meds that are body wide that work like lidocaine. While it is true, I am NOT pain free, I function better than I have in a while. I can actually do a sink of dishes without my lower back killing my after 20 minutes. A BIG step for me.
So basically my question is, why do doctors go for the hurtful meds first instead of meds that are easier on the body and the patient? Why do I have to go to a specialist for this to happen?
Just a couple of questions to throw you guys out there.