Feeling much better today

Well, today I feel much better today than I have in a month. Now that that humid nasty weather is gone, so is my nasty pain.
Right now, I am listening to my new audiobook so I must make this short.
I hope everyone is well. I may write more later.

At the end of the rainbow

Well, today is a better day than it has been for quite a few. I just have had more mental stuff to deal with than physical. All bank crap that I won't go into here. Needless to say its a he said, she said deal. UGH! The BIG MACHINE is at it again!!!!!
I am going to deal with it tomorrow and act like Scarlett O'Hara. Right now I have had enough of being on the phone and fighting with my bank which is ironic instead of the company who caused the problem. They could do no more to help than they have. I just gotta get up the "bad Wendy" together and be mean and ugly to get this fixed. I hate doing that.
Being home alone with all this pain and dealing with the MACHINE is rough, but I am a big girl and I can do it myself.
Hopefully I will have a good night tonight and not want to pull hair out of my head.
Wish me luck everyone.

The Truth of Pain

Well, here I am again in the early morning hours because of my pain. Right now I am stitting on a bag of Blue Ice to take the pain away somehow. Nothing seems to be working but sleeping and I only do that at a 2-3 hour stint. I can barely walk, roll out of bed, and use the bathroom. I don't think I could drive at this point to the ER if I had to. I don't want to wake Todd because this is his new job and I don't want to jepordize anything at that angle right now. I guess I could call my father in law if it gets really bad but his driving is horrid I am afraid he would hit a cow , which are on the way to the hosptial. I don't take pain killers because this type of pain it is useless on. The strongest I get is Soma. That isn't even working anymore.
UGH! What am I do to do. I called my rheumy and he said take advil to help the inflammation. Well, without a car and living in the boonies there isn't a 24 hour store for miles.
Well that is the truth of pain.....it really is well, a pain.

A short post for today

Pain is the story of my life for the last oh week or so. The last three days have been the worst. I have been bedridden and good thing there is a TV in there or I would go nutty.
Pain in my sciatic has spread to my hips on both sides and I walk like an 80 year old when I am 33.
Since I can't sit too long, this will be very short but to let you know I am alive. If you are all still reading that is.

So back to bed I am going. I hope you all have a great day.

Waxing on Chronic Pain

I am in so much pain I can't almost stand myself. My hips are killing me and my meds have not kicked in yet, so I thought I would write a little until they work.
Chronic pain is something that is so fleeting yet so close to people who have it. It is a wonder people don't understand it like acute pain. You know you stub your toe or a sprained ankle. Chronic is forever and chooses when to make an appearance. Only a few people who know me understand that when we make plans and I back out at the last minute that it is from pain. Only they know that I have a bedstand full of pill bottles for this and that. Only they know I spend my days watching TV or online because I can't do anything that people take for granted like washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom. To walk into my apartment would look like a tornado hit it or that we are big pigs. I just don't have the energy to do any of those "normal" things anymore. I wish I did, then I would be working again.
Another thing on my mind is those darn blood tests I talked about previously. They mean something but I don't know what to who. But I feel that something beyond what I have now is lurking in my body and causing me more pain than I should be feeling. Everyonce in while I wonder "Why me?" Why am I so darn special? Why can't I be "normal"?
The thing of it is, I tried normal and it put me here, in this disabled position where I can't work or do anything, it seems. The best thing I do is lay around. Is there an award for that? I would probably be up for it along with the many others I know who are in wheelchairs and use other walking devices. Sometimes I feel bad that others can't see what I feel, then maybe they would understand. An invisible illness is something that no one seems to grasp the idea of. I have heard all the old standards about their boo-boos and they walk it off, but that just makes me more frustrated. I want to be like that too. Walk it off. But I just can't seem to. Three years now I have been useless according to the world and sucking off the "system". I wish I didn't have to but I am lucky I have it to fall back on. Or else Todd and I would be in big financial trouble and on the streets.
Okay enough with the pity party....I am off to bed. I hope everyone has a better night than I have had.

Happy Sunday Morning everyone!

Well, I had a rough night. Watch it gents you may need to block your eyes! Its a little embarrasing woman thing that I will be writing about.
I was coughing up a storm like crazy last night and three times I had to change my undies. Has anyone had an incontience problem that bad at my age? (I'm 33) I need to know if I need to tell my doctors or not. Not only was embarrassing but concerning. I keep seeing things for illnesses when you loose the ability to stop peeing. Sorry for the candor for the Blog!
I hope everyone has a great day!